Welcome!

Posted in Personal Reflections on April 15, 2013 by Zeref

Hi all.

This is my Dark Training blog.

It is 18+, so be aware as you scroll through the categories. Everything is organized to the right. Also, play some music to set the mood.

Enjoy.

Journal Entry

Posted in Dark Philosophy - FA on February 24, 2015 by Zeref
I thought I would begin again by revisiting the discussion questions overlooked in my last foray into the Resource Assignments. I’ll begin with “What led you to the Sith Way, and how is Darkness relevant to you?”

First, I would again be remiss if I said I was a Sith in any shape or form. It carries with it a connotation of “evil” that I find distasteful. While that connotation is shortsighted and not accurate, it is still something I will stay away from. I find it much more homey to consider myself a Dark Jedi, or a Jedi who focuses on inner darkness to bring out strength. Second, I was led to this path through a series of experiences I will detail for you. When I was a young man, I found distaste for my Christian upbringing. Mostly, I saw the hypocrisy in my family and in my church. I saw that people were just using the faith as a way to deceive themselves and others. I found no such usefulness in self-deception. I thought that God must have hated me because I did not buy into his lies. I refused to be subservient to him any longer. (As I was a teen, I was also prone to asking for things rather than taking them. I continually begged for “superpowers”, and of course, I would never receive them). I decided to declare God my enemy, and I refused to follow him. I still remember that night when it happened. I remember, quite poetically, the feeling of coldness that came with that declaration. There was an isolation that I was just uncomfortable with, but that also empowered me. I began my search for something that would give me power. Eventually, I found it. After muddling through Buddhism unsuccessfully, trying Paganism, and hating everything I came across… I saw episode 2 of Star Wars. I began to put together all of my experiences, and I felt a lot of reverence for Palpatine.

I saw him as a paragon of influence and power. I admired his totality of domination, and this led me to search out people who would emulate him. I remembered that Sithism was a religion, as stated in Episode 4. This knowledge propelled me into the Yahoo groups of the early Sithism/Sith Realism days. I would remain there as Darth Plagueis for a while. Eventually, I left to become a Jedi when I had visions of killing my friends and family. Regardless of your belief in spiritual abilities, I had experiences that I could not explain. At the time, I would have called them energies and powers. I could easily tell the number of fingers somebody held behind their back. Always accurate. I could enhance my physical abilities, lifting weights unsafe for my size at the time. I had a power that went beyond simple ability. My training in the Dark Side led me to do things I never would have done as an uninitiated. But, it came with a price. I suffered. A lot. My life was marred by dark and selfish thought. I wanted to rid myself of the thought of hurting those I loved. What I didn’t realize was that these thoughts were not “dark” thoughts.. they were a product of my own ignorance of the true Darkness within me. Looking back, it made no sense to think killing my family would be fun. That was just the part of me that’s insane. That part, though, I identified as evil and dark. So, I locked it away under a different persona named Riddle. Riddle would emerge every now and then, leading me to hurt people I cared about. This insane part of me I felt so uncomfortable with that I was shamed by him. When I went to college, I began to explore again what Riddle meant to me. This led me to study darkness at the Force Academy and here, eventually. Also, at Daoine Sith. These were in vain. I had so far separated myself from my true Darkness that my life was a mess.

It’s no wonder either. I had literally forced myself into a kind of split personality. I separated myself from anything that was risky, worth doing, all in the name of being a “good” and “nice” guy.

I am still working on the fallout from that decision. I do not regret it. It was necessary at the time to protect me from doing something stupid. I feel as though I went in way over my head too young, and I got burned. Now, I want to rekindle that fire and truly delve into the training I know will help me reach the next level.

I am here because I felt like the time was right to leave my cocoon of “safe”ty and move back into a life of risk-taking and unfathomable passion.

Now… I just have to find out what it is I like to do.

 

Passions list

Posted in Personal Reflections on February 24, 2015 by Zeref

1. Eating healthful

2. Working out.

3. Creating money/wealth.

4. Figuring out what I want to do with my life.

Simple as that.

The First List of Passions

Posted in Personal Reflections on April 18, 2013 by Zeref

The List of Passions:

 

  1. Music.
  2. Family. – Loyalty.
  3. Strength.
  4. Jedi-Sith-Force Realist.
  5. Internet.
  6. Passion.
  7. Women.
  8. Food.
  9. Theater.

10. Sleep – Laziness.

11. Reading.

12. Business (administrative and political work).

13. Weight Lifting.

14. Duty.  – Compassion.

15. Adrenaline.

16. Sexual things.

17. Studying.

18. Academics.

19. Relaxation.

20. Walks

Posted in Media -- vids and pics on April 17, 2013 by Zeref

Source: http://oxane.tumblr.com/post/48140989188/tracey-emin-exorcism-of-the-last-painting-i-ever

Posted in Media -- vids and pics on April 17, 2013 by Zeref

Source: http://actegratuit.tumblr.com/post/48140927430/valerie-hegarty-george-washington-melted-4-2011

Posted in Media -- vids and pics on April 17, 2013 by Zeref

Source: http://kittenvoodoo.tumblr.com/post/48142892188/2dicon-on-twitpic

Yami Doko, Day 9/30

Posted in Dark Philosophy - FA on April 16, 2013 by Zeref

Yami Doko, Passion, Day 9/30

So, singing went very well today. We had a great rehearsal for the Verdi Requiem. I did some scheduling for tomorrow’s rehearsal (the opera I’m performing next week). I keep putting off memorizing the last piece for my recital next week. I loathe memorizing. Just one of those things one “has” to do.

Food has gone spectacularly as well! I had a protein shake for breakfast. A gallon of water. A sandwich and another sandwich. I did have a bit of ice cream… but it was for a student government program and I felt bad because I told them to buy a lot and there wasn’t very many people who attended. I should remember to not project my desire for ice cream on to my student government friends. ;)

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